(wrote this while flying to Europe last week. might have been drinking wine at the time. forgot to send it.)

looking out my window from 1G on Delta flight 284. i wish you could see this. the grounds are a bed of white, smokey clouds. the moon is as full and bright and clear as i have ever seen it. illuminating the cloudy floor like some sort of blanket of protection in case this plane were to trip and fall… listening to Band of Horses through my headphones. “for me.. this bottle of wine.. used to slow down my mind.. and forget the things that i knew..”. i see the ocean ripples through the clouds where the illumination from the moon is impossible for the clouds to block. like life, this little moment won’t last forever. my camera can’t get the picture into it’s retina like my biological one can. i guess, in the end, that is a good thing… because some things you just can’t… blog. underlying, is that feeling while hanging my head against the glass… i am about maybe 5 inches away from the outside, and the longest fall in human history. knowing that one strange flaw could send me out this window and into a free fall, tens of thousands of feet through the floor of clouds… then thousands of feet further below that, cracking into the Atlantic ocean, then possibly, depending on impact, a hundred feet below that thing as well… and wondering what i would be thinking about as i fell… before i hit the clouds, would i be thinking about my son? would i be thinking about what it will feel like when i hit the water? would i desperately try to fly and navigate myself with my arms and hands in some aerodynamic position, thinking i could possibly be that one weird statistic that actually survives the impact if i were to dive a perfect 10? and due to my obsessive compulsive nature, could i please land within the illuminated strip of water made possible by the moon’s light, so i will feel better about it? and what it would be like to then be bitten and slowly devoured by a shark when i didn’t and couldn’t see it coming in the night? that must be what keeps me from sleeping on planes. that or just the thought of what life would be like without life. i am gettin’ weird. i love you and can’t wait to see you all at the shows in Europe. good night. sleep tight. i won’t be… but i will be happy, and content.. looking at the moon about 20,000 ft closer than you are….. Butch